Oh I feel inspired to blog. Staring at these blank white walls made me realise that my life is a blank canvas. I can make my life colourful yet, fill it with wonderful things. Make something of myself. Life goes on.
Been thinking about my next tattoo and I decide to dedicate it to my life. As a reminder of all the good times, permanently on my errr thigh...well I'm thinking thigh right now. Seems to be a good idea.
I have started to get out of this rock I managed to crawl under and life is starting to go the way I want. I appreciate EVERYTHING I have. Always will. I tell my family and my friends I love them on a daily basis. I know they love me too! Even when I'm propped up against a wall because I've had one too many and lost the ability to walk.
I saw Birdy Monday. It has been about a month but it was so good to see her again. I do genuinely miss the old times but I want her to know I will never forget them and I'll be forever in her debt for a number of things. I love you Birdy.
I'm going to stop being ignorant and think about the future. Say bye to "Fuck the future" which is a shame because I absolutely adore living for now.
Life goes on.
Love.
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Friday, 11 February 2011
srghsfjhyjdhjs
I'm fed up of crying.
I'm fed up with things going wrong.
I'm fed up with you not believing in me and my choices.
I'm fed up with making all the effort.
I'm fed up with not being good enough.
I'm fed up with things going wrong.
I'm fed up with you not believing in me and my choices.
I'm fed up with making all the effort.
I'm fed up with not being good enough.
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Don't fix it if it hasn't broken yet.
But maybe it has broken.
Ok what a cheery way to start a blog. I'm worrying myself far too much now about everything I said I wouldn't care about. Since I started my diet I have lost 2 stone (woo go me) but now I am so careful about what I eat and the diet is not ment to work like that. I can pretty much have a nervous breakdown if I eat carbs. I eat carbs at weekends because I know your body needs them at whatever but i'm so scared about putting the weight back on it is slowly turning into an obsession...wouldn't say i'm anorexic or anything because i still LOVE my food. I'm just slightly obsessing about what I eat.
But nevermind, I will sort myself out eventually.
Today's pressure on both girls and guys to look "perfect" is ridiculous. All these air brushed images aren't doing any good (apart from whoever the image contains because they clearly look great.) What is wrong with looking natural? Ok I admit I put as much false enhancements as possible; eyelashes, tan and whatever else I can afford at the time but it's the look I personally like. I wouldn't do it for anyone else and I don't do it everyday. Only on special occasions like a friday for instance.
When did natural beauty become so rare to find?
I have cut down on the amount of make up I wear on a daily basis but on a night out I will feel naked without my smoky eyes, heavy eyeliner, fake eyelashes and a ton of lipgloss. I wonder how long this will go on for?
Funnily enough I only started to blog because I wanted to say I went to see A Day to Remember on Saturday. Nevermind. A Day to Remember deserve their own blog after Saturday.
Love.
Ok what a cheery way to start a blog. I'm worrying myself far too much now about everything I said I wouldn't care about. Since I started my diet I have lost 2 stone (woo go me) but now I am so careful about what I eat and the diet is not ment to work like that. I can pretty much have a nervous breakdown if I eat carbs. I eat carbs at weekends because I know your body needs them at whatever but i'm so scared about putting the weight back on it is slowly turning into an obsession...wouldn't say i'm anorexic or anything because i still LOVE my food. I'm just slightly obsessing about what I eat.
But nevermind, I will sort myself out eventually.
Today's pressure on both girls and guys to look "perfect" is ridiculous. All these air brushed images aren't doing any good (apart from whoever the image contains because they clearly look great.) What is wrong with looking natural? Ok I admit I put as much false enhancements as possible; eyelashes, tan and whatever else I can afford at the time but it's the look I personally like. I wouldn't do it for anyone else and I don't do it everyday. Only on special occasions like a friday for instance.
When did natural beauty become so rare to find?
I have cut down on the amount of make up I wear on a daily basis but on a night out I will feel naked without my smoky eyes, heavy eyeliner, fake eyelashes and a ton of lipgloss. I wonder how long this will go on for?
Funnily enough I only started to blog because I wanted to say I went to see A Day to Remember on Saturday. Nevermind. A Day to Remember deserve their own blog after Saturday.
Love.
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
.....
Ok I'm laying on my bed right now and I'm currently listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon on my record player. It's safe to say I genuinely feel like my mother.
Love.
Love.
My new year resolutions
I decided if I publish my resolutions then there might be a chance I might just stick to them. So here we go.....
I spent last year worrying about what people thought/said about me so this year i'm going to stop worrying and start living. It's not even necessarily people i knew that worried me, I convinced myself I had to please everyone which, as I learnt, is physically impossible. So this year i'm going to upset a lot more people, unintentionally of course. I'm 21 I need to start believing in myself or no one will believe in me and how am I supposed to do epic things with my life if I don't believe in me? Hopefully by believing in myself my confidence will shoot through the roof. I'm going to attempt to talk to a lot more people when i'm sober because when i'm drunk it is pretty impossible to shut me up! If i learn to love myself then maybe, just maybe, someone else will love me (I am on about boys, family and friends don't count in that as i already know they love me lots!)
Of course I plan to quit smoking at SOME POINT this year. Could be in a month, could be in 10 months...who knows? But yes some time this year. Well hopefully anyway. I said i would quit by the time i'm 21 but erm that didn't quite go to plan. I think i would be alright if i didn't drink alcohol because, lets be honest, having a cigarette goes very well with alcohol. So i suppose i should cut down drinking alcohol (notice how i said cut down and not quit?)
I'm assuming the majority of people have this as a resolution but I want to lose weight. Especially after the massive binge over my birthday and christmas I think it's about time i got back on track. Although i did weigh myself earlier (I been avoiding scales for a long time) and it says i haven't put on any weight but my work trousers tell me a different story...muffin top....disgusting.
Oh i want to drive this year too. This is going to be one expensive year.
And finally, i plan to spend a hell of a lot more time with my friends. Mainly Bird as it feels like i only see her when i'm getting my hair done and well this could end up being a very expensive friendship. On a positive note i would have awesome hair all the time! But i'm going to stop letting work rule my life and still live it the way i want! I've proved to myself i can survive on bare minimum sleep and well i have the whole day to catch up on sleep as working 2 n half hours in the morning doesn't really take up the whole day now does it.
So there's my list. That is proof of what i want to do. At the end of the year I will see how well i've done and then consider blogging about it depending on what happens. But I actually have to remember that i wrote them down on here.....it's already looking unlikely considering my shockingly bad memory.
Love.
I spent last year worrying about what people thought/said about me so this year i'm going to stop worrying and start living. It's not even necessarily people i knew that worried me, I convinced myself I had to please everyone which, as I learnt, is physically impossible. So this year i'm going to upset a lot more people, unintentionally of course. I'm 21 I need to start believing in myself or no one will believe in me and how am I supposed to do epic things with my life if I don't believe in me? Hopefully by believing in myself my confidence will shoot through the roof. I'm going to attempt to talk to a lot more people when i'm sober because when i'm drunk it is pretty impossible to shut me up! If i learn to love myself then maybe, just maybe, someone else will love me (I am on about boys, family and friends don't count in that as i already know they love me lots!)
Of course I plan to quit smoking at SOME POINT this year. Could be in a month, could be in 10 months...who knows? But yes some time this year. Well hopefully anyway. I said i would quit by the time i'm 21 but erm that didn't quite go to plan. I think i would be alright if i didn't drink alcohol because, lets be honest, having a cigarette goes very well with alcohol. So i suppose i should cut down drinking alcohol (notice how i said cut down and not quit?)
I'm assuming the majority of people have this as a resolution but I want to lose weight. Especially after the massive binge over my birthday and christmas I think it's about time i got back on track. Although i did weigh myself earlier (I been avoiding scales for a long time) and it says i haven't put on any weight but my work trousers tell me a different story...muffin top....disgusting.
Oh i want to drive this year too. This is going to be one expensive year.
And finally, i plan to spend a hell of a lot more time with my friends. Mainly Bird as it feels like i only see her when i'm getting my hair done and well this could end up being a very expensive friendship. On a positive note i would have awesome hair all the time! But i'm going to stop letting work rule my life and still live it the way i want! I've proved to myself i can survive on bare minimum sleep and well i have the whole day to catch up on sleep as working 2 n half hours in the morning doesn't really take up the whole day now does it.
So there's my list. That is proof of what i want to do. At the end of the year I will see how well i've done and then consider blogging about it depending on what happens. But I actually have to remember that i wrote them down on here.....it's already looking unlikely considering my shockingly bad memory.
Love.
Monday, 3 January 2011
2011 so far....
Ok so it's the 3rd of January and so far the year has been alright. I started the year off with one hell of a hangover, but then again that was expected. Then my hangover led to me throwing up what seemed to be my cup of Double Choca Mocha, as you can imagine it wasn't the best day! After working 5 hours on new years day I managed to fall asleep by 6 that evening! Lots of sleep was deffinately the best plan I have had this year!
But knowing the awful hangover was caused by having such a good night then well it's not all so bad. I would not change anything.
Love.
But knowing the awful hangover was caused by having such a good night then well it's not all so bad. I would not change anything.
Love.
Sunday, 2 January 2011
My 2010
So it's now 2011 and what a great way to start off this year by reviewing the year I just lived?
It had so many ups and downs it was like a rollercoaster! And one of those mad ones at that. I'm actually pleased to say it had more ups than downs! I finally got a job in March, not the best job but it pays for clothes. I became very good friends with The Lady, infact she's one of my best friends! I can't imagine my life without her now, considering I've known her for about a year and a half it feels like I've known her for all my life! Fannyfeet and myself have seen many awesome bands such as; Muse, 30 Seconds to Mars, Kids in Glass Houses, Enter Shikari, Avenged Sevenfold plus many more...oh and we went to the Reading Festival!!!
Now comes to the not so great parts of the year and surprisingly they mainly revolve around the subject of men. Yes I'm still single and there's this one guy who I genuinely thought was a nice bloke but erm he is FAR from nice...let's hope 2011 brings the niceities out in the male population. But the main downer of the year was losing my Great Uncle Den may he rest in peace.
2011 will be my year. I'll make sure of it! I'm going to find confidence and true happiness this year. Actually going to sort out my life and physically do things rather than just thinking about them!
Come on 2011, I'm ready for a challenge.
Love.
It had so many ups and downs it was like a rollercoaster! And one of those mad ones at that. I'm actually pleased to say it had more ups than downs! I finally got a job in March, not the best job but it pays for clothes. I became very good friends with The Lady, infact she's one of my best friends! I can't imagine my life without her now, considering I've known her for about a year and a half it feels like I've known her for all my life! Fannyfeet and myself have seen many awesome bands such as; Muse, 30 Seconds to Mars, Kids in Glass Houses, Enter Shikari, Avenged Sevenfold plus many more...oh and we went to the Reading Festival!!!
Now comes to the not so great parts of the year and surprisingly they mainly revolve around the subject of men. Yes I'm still single and there's this one guy who I genuinely thought was a nice bloke but erm he is FAR from nice...let's hope 2011 brings the niceities out in the male population. But the main downer of the year was losing my Great Uncle Den may he rest in peace.
2011 will be my year. I'll make sure of it! I'm going to find confidence and true happiness this year. Actually going to sort out my life and physically do things rather than just thinking about them!
Come on 2011, I'm ready for a challenge.
Love.
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